English…?
…is a silly language isn’t it?
Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as helll one day and cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
to all the people unskilled enough to miss the question: "english is a silly language isn’t it?"
Tagged with: alarm clock • boxing rings • cold as hell • crazy language • driveways • eggplant • english muffins • french fries • groce • grocers • guinea pig • meese • paradoxes • parkways • quicksand • slim chance • sweetbreads • sweetmeats • wise guy • wise man
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if you put it that way yes it is. ha ha, that was funny and cute. your a good writer. keep up the good work. even in crazy English.
Go jump of a building, please.
Is there a question here someplace.
you have to much free time,lol
what you trying to say no more burger kings
Nice cut and paste job.
I got this a few days ago in an email. It was very interesting. Especially the first part of it:
Here it goes:
Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friends.
That is very good. Did you make that up?
hellifiknow!
Have a good night…. go to sleep already:)
ham burger is not UK its USA English is the international language live with it
Interesting thoughts….I never thought of that..
Very uninteresting. Can you manage coming up with any witty banter or ‘word play’ in regards to that?
You thought about it so long for me to just say "yeah."
Yes! Which explains why we drive in parkways and park in driveways…
Yep, Engish is a wonderfully silly language. So what. It is used the world over has got to be the most diverse. Why so diverse? Because we (particularly american english) have adopted words phrases and all sorts of things from other cultures and languages. We don’t have a language police (like the French or French canadians), we adopt others and adapt our own language. We invent words and things that others incorporate into THEIR language since there is no equivalent.
English– yep its goofy but I’ll take it any day.
For many centuries the English-speaking cultures thought of themselves as inferior to other cultures (let’s face it, they were barbarians). They thought the Italians were better in music (this Italian words for music terms), they thought the french were better at cooking, and that the most holy and scholarly of languages was latin. Trying to force non-germanic grammar into our germanic language made our spoken and written languages quite different. That’s why there are so many sets of rules now.
Very clever, we learned those in Middle School.
This looks to me like a direct quotation from a book I’ve seen by a linguistics professor. Richard something. You should probably acknowledge that none of these are your words and they came directly from another text.
………thought provoking
I don’t think it is silly, but fascinating. What a lovely, free-spirited, amalgamating, versatile language it is. ; )
English in America is the most diverse, it is derived from all different languages and combined to make slang terms and without a little French, Latin, and Italian(amongst many others) you would not be able to say what you are. I love America’s language. It is only silly to some.
Lol I’ve heard that before, but I still like my language
So what?
In summary, speak English or leave. End of story.
OXYMORON’S I love it!!!! English is a silly language made up for thousands of years from multiple dialects, cultures and geographic locations. what do you think about nomenclature?
If you don’t like Americans, we are not forcing you to stay here.
You’re American, aren’t you? Stop trying to turn America into Mexico, you f’ing idiot.
Yes you are correct-there is much humor in this language. I can remember a friend who was learning English and I said at one time–"your pulling my leg". That took some explaining.
Add our slang and there is more humor.
But than I am sure other countries have the same humor in their language.
What is more important I think than speaking is listening. We need more of that.
Enjoyed this post.